You Are Not An Island

"No man is an island entire of itself;..."

I have been thinking today of compassion, consideration, understanding, and forgiveness.  These ideas are difficult in many ways, and trying to find the right words to explain my vision of them has proven far more difficult than I'd imagined when I began.  I kept coming back to the idea that the things we do and say in life have a way of reverberating in the world around us--that whether or not you wish to accept the social contract of the world in which we live, you are still part of it, and thus still responsible for what occurs within it.

I struggled with the idea of forgiving those who have no remorse for their actions, and then remembering a story in which a Holocaust survivor said that forgiveness wasn't about excusing someone else's actions, but rather a statement that their actions no longer had any control over us.  Still the government that hurt her (and many others,) suffered a resounding defeat in WWII.  I have to imagine that made forgiveness easier for her.

I considered the idea of compassion for others and ourselves, and that mingled with the idea of understanding--trying to place ourselves in the shoes of others.  We are the center of our own universe, so it's hard to put ourselves at the center of someone else's.  But it is essential if we intend to share this world together.

I recalled an article about the social contract when it came to something as simple as returning a cart at the grocery store, and how often we fail at doing that.  How, then, can we expect people to do other little things like recycling?  Consideration in the little things must then lead to consideration when it comes to even greater things.

I reflected on my own lack of knowledge about the world and history--how these things can offer context and clues as to what works in life and what doesn't.  And I realized that being open to new information has helped me to shape my views on the world--how each new piece of information that I have acquired has helped me to become a better person because I am better able to understand others.  The more I have closed myself off from the world, the darker it became.  The easier it was to be afraid and to hate.  And so knowledge leads to understanding, which in turn leads to hope.

But the main thing that all of those ideas had in common was how they were tied to this notion that our lives are not lived in a vacuum.  We are not islands entire to ourselves.  The choices we make have repercussions.  And the things we do and say have consequences.  That is why it is so important to seek out knowledge that we may better understand (this life, ourselves, others;..) so that, maybe the only thing we will need to forgive is ourselves when we fail in that.

Be Kind

 It seems simple enough to say this, but:

Be kind to one another.

Even the worst treatment doesn't deserve to be reciprocated in kind.  But rather, in my mind, it takes a greater sense of fortitude and courage not to respond that way.  Being right doesn't mean we have to be rude, uncouth, or violent.  And often, if you are that way when you're right, few people will want to listen to what you have to say.

Being kind isn't just about others, though.  Being kind means to also treat yourself with compassion and understanding.  None of us are perfect.  It's okay to be wrong.  It's okay to mess up.  Learn from the experience and move on.  Don't continually beat yourself up over it.  Doing so often hurts more than just yourself.

So rather than throw anger back in the face of anger--like throwing gasoline at a fire, let's meet anger with compassion.  Let's seek to understand rather than condemn.  Let's lead by an example we desire to be rather than an example of what we don't want to be.

But most of all, let's be kind to one another and ourselves.

It's Never Too Late

 ...to get in a post before the day is done.  Although I suppose the same could be said for just about anything in life.  It just depends on how much time and effort you want to put into doing whatever it is that you want to get done.  Some things are worth the effort--like these posts, for instance, and other things (like learning how to be better at PvP in WoW,) are not.  Determine if something is important to you, and if it is, don't give up on it.  Keep working at it as best you can.

Because it's never too late to achieve what you believe is important to you.

A brief aside on this point:

My mom went back to college in her forties.  My dad is just now getting around to fixing up his Road Runner--a dream he's had since I was a kid.  For my mom, becoming a nurse was important to her, and for my dad, that car has been something he's wanted to do since he was young.  They held on to those dreams, and they have worked hard to make them a reality.  It may have taken them years to get to where they wanted to be, but they kept trying.  They didn't give up.  They didn't decide it was too late for them.

The point being: no matter how impossible something might seem to be today, if you keep working at it, little by little, if it's important to you--you'll find a way to get to where you want to go.  There may be lots of twists, turns, and unexpected detours along the way, but if you're willing to stick with it, you'll get there.

So don't give up.  Do your best!  It's never too late to do something that is important to you.

Keep Going

I think the best advice for anyone struggling with something is simply to keep going.  One step more can lead to ten and maybe then a hundred.  But a journey only ends if we stop.  Backwards, forwards--it doesn't matter the direction so long as we just keep going.  You can't reach a goal if you don't try.

I know for some, thinking about the past week, these words may seem trite or even ridiculous, but they are helping me push through my fears and depression.  Also, when I say to keep going, I don't mean to simply throw yourself at a wall over and over again, either.  When I say "keep going" what I am saying is that it's important to acknowledge our failures, but not to dwell on them.  Reflect on them, but don't let them control the journey moving forward.

Today is not yesterday.  Today is not tomorrow.  This, too, shall pass, and nothing lasts forever.  So keep going, even when all you want to do is hide from the world and yourself.  We can only become defined by moments if we continue to live in them and dwell on them.  So if this isn't where you want to be, if this isn't the person you want to be, keep going.

Just keep going.

from a post off the website Design Sponge

Moving Forward

I want to have good words that will make people happy.
I want to be able to write them here.

And I guess that's the best I can do today.  I tried a lot of other words already, and none of them seemed the right ones.

So today, try to do only good things.  Try to say only true things.

And do your best not to despair.

I think I will just crawl back into bed, curl up with the cat, and do something brainless for a while.  Thinking has only made things worse today.

A Not Important Person's View on the Events of January 6, 2021

First, I want to offer my condolences to those who lost someone important to them yesterday in the coup that was the storming of the U.S. Capitol building.  As the story continues to be told over the next several weeks, I fear that these will be just the first of many deaths--especially if those who began this coup decide that it is important enough to continue it.  That's not counting the lives that could be lost because of the corona virus in another two weeks as people begin to experience the effects of their actions yesterday.  While I don't expect those protesters intended to start a coup, that is what happened.  That is the reality that we are left with.

Yesterday I went through a whirlwind of emotions, many of which I am still trying to grapple with.  Fearful, angry, sad, excited, disgusted, resigned, depressed...but the ones I am left with today are mostly sadness and anger--sad because I have many loved ones who feel that what happened yesterday was needed and justified.  And if this continues, I may find myself, like I expect many found themselves during our last civil war, fighting against my own family and friends over an ideal.  And angry because there is a man in the White House that calls himself the President who deluded millions of Americans into believing that this country in which we live is not, in fact, great, but rather a cesspool on the verge of becoming a third world country.  A president who not only condemns the main stream media and science, but anyone who is associated with them when they refuse to conform to his idea of the world.  And also angry at the people in power who abetted him in all of this.

And so, like our nation, I am divided and in pain.

There is a final anger in me--that the people who started this coup yesterday are likely unwilling to see this thing through to the end.  If they believe so whole-heartedly that this election was a fraud, if they believe that our democracy is truly a sham, then they should be out there protesting, storming the houses of government, and seeking to overthrow it.  But mostly, I think they just don't like that they lost, and they won't have the heart and the will to follow through with any of this.  Which just means that we'll be dealing with this for years to come.

I don't want there to be war, though.

I don't imagine any of us does--save those few who have never fought in one or sought to survive one.  But one charismatic leader (and those who are willing to prop him up) is all it takes--as history can attest.

So, here we are on the cusp of change, in a new year, and the world feels like its falling apart already.  I don't know how to reach the other side with words.  I feel like we've been trying for a really long time, and instead of listening, they've just got their fingers in their ears, chanting "La la la, I can't hear you!" as loud as they can at the world.  Or maybe there's nothing left inside of them besides anger.

But I feel like the propaganda wars are real.  I feel like people with more money than sense believe they know what's best for them, and thus the world, and don't care how many of us non-believers they kill along the way.  After all, it's only words, and words don't kill.  Sticks and stones and all that.  The best kind of propaganda ensures that you can't blame it for anything.

And so, ...once again, I am sad--sad to see how easily people can be manipulated.  Sad to see how easily a moment of protest can become a conflict etched forever into history--one that casts doubt on the strength and actual greatness of our country.  Sad that all I can do is hope that yesterday opened the eyes of those who sought to stop the processes of our government (I hesitate to say overthrow it as I don't believe they were really aiming to do that,)--that maybe they understand a little better what thoughtless action can lead to.  That maybe they realize how easily something truly great can be lost.

Sad that all I can do is hope that they don't really believe all the things they say they do, because if they really do....

If they really do, then this division will continue to grow until it tears us all apart.

Be Brave

 I really love the movie Brave.  I love the red-headed girl, Merida, and all the crazy hijinks she gets up to.  I love that she is young, vibrant, foolish, loving, and ...relatable.  After all, who hasn't sometimes wanted to wish someone into a corn patch somewhere?  Or ...wished your family would turn into bears?

While her wishes come true in a crazy sort of way, it had more to do with her fearlessness than her actual smarts.  And sometimes, I think being fearless is pretty amazing.  While Merida doesn't always go about it in the most sensible of ways, being brave is something I think we could all stand to embrace more of.

A lot of my life has been defined by my fears, and in many ways, it still is.  But each day, I struggle to try and do something just a little brave--a little fearless.  It isn't easy, and often I need time to recover and consider where I could have done better.  But being brave allows me to go a little further the next time until those fears creep back in and send me packing.  And that's okay.

Part of life is learning to combat the fears that haunt us, and not everyone will handle that struggle the same way.  Still, it's important that we try; it's important to be brave.

When you see something wrong, even if it's not happening to you, say something or do something to help the situation and make things better.  If you have the urge to talk to someone, go and do it!  Be the kind of change you want to see in others.  But most importantly, be brave by moving past your fear.  Even if it's one step, that's something to be proud of.

So put on your red hair, grab your bow, and let's do something that scares the hell out of us.

Let's be brave!