Sometimes It's Okay to Hide

I think one of my favorite words is hermit.

Here is how the dictionary defines it:

one that retires from society and lives in solitude especially for religious reasons

Apparently it is also a type of spiced molasses cookie, which I will now have to look up and learn how to make.  The important part of that definition, though, is the "one that retires from society and lives in solitude."

While I'm not sure I can countenance anyone going off to become a hermit in the world, I do get the impetus at times.  The world can seem overwhelming, or overbearing.  Being sociable can often be taxing, and seeking to fit in can often lead to self-loathing, resentment, and self-hate.  How much nicer would it be to simply not have to be what society expects us to be?  How much happier might we be if we could just pursue the things that interest us without having to earn a living?

Sometimes, it's important for us to escape from everything--including our own expectations for ourselves and others.  Sometimes it's important to take a day and become a hermit.

There is this idea in mental health circles called recharging.  It asserts that often we use so much of our personal batteries for simply trying to do what's expected of us that we fail to reserve any of that energy for ourselves.  I like that idea, as I can often relate to it.  I often feel drained when I have to deal with other people or venture outside.  I worry about how I am viewed--how others see me, and how I present myself.  I despair, often, about how I look and how that one thing influences the way that people see me and deal with me.  I'm afraid that I'll bump into someone due to my own lack of eyesight, or that I won't notice when others are seeking to be kind to me because I can't see their efforts.  I often pretend that everything is fine so that I can just make it out the door when we have to go somewhere.  And sometimes amidst all that internal chaos, I actually enjoy myself and stop worrying.

Which is often why I need time to just ...hermit--to hide away from the rest of the world so that I don't have to think about it, or deal with it, or beat myself up about how bad I am at being a person.

And I think that's okay.

You may not have the same issues I do, but I expect you have stressors that make life incredibly difficult at times.  And if you don't get a chance to be away from those for a while, it can literally drive you insane.

So, don't feel bad about hermiting when you need to.  No one can tell you how best to be a hermit, and if they try, don't worry about listening to them.  You recharge however you need to (so long as you're not harming yourself or others, of course, in the process.)  Take some time off from social media, social obligations, your family, and your other obligations.  Do something that makes you happy and recharges your batteries.  Remind yourself that who you are is okay.

Taking time for yourself--stepping away from the world for a little while to remember the things that make you happy, is never a bad choice.

Hermit by Gerrit Dou, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons