Sunday, May 16, 2021

Dear Mr. President (x2)

 Dear Mr. President,

I realize that I didn't get a chance to write to you last week, but that's because we were up at John's Mom's for Mother's Day, and it was just so nice to be able to spend the weekend there with Mom and Aunt Mary.  They (John and Aunt Mary) made some amazing dinners, and I did my best to help clean up and set the table and such.  I don't really do that much cooking; so, it was nice to be the recipient of others' kindness, and also nice to just be included as part of the family with the chores and such.  It made me feel welcome, and since I didn't have a computer (just my phone,) and since we weren't coming back until Monday, I figured missing a week wouldn't hurt too much.  That said, I hope you were able to celebrate the special women in your life--mothers, daughters, aunts, sisters, and granddaughters and great-granddaughters and such.  I think in every woman there is a mother; we may not all have children, but there are so many things to nurture in this world--from people to causes to animals and even nature.  And on Mother's Day I believe it's important to remember that and revere the women in our lives who have shaped us into the people we are today.  So, I really hope you got a chance to do that, too.

I just got off the phone with my mom in Texas before I sat down to write to you, and before that, I went out to brunch with Aunt Mary and her friend Virginia.  I feel like today I was surrounded by a lot of love and joy and contentment.  It was a good morning and early afternoon, and I felt like we talked about things that were important--from frustrations with how politicians choose to spend money to the way that society seems to be fractured--to the healing of Princess days and how changing the conversation can help to remove pain, stigma, and hatred so that we can start having conversations with one another again.  We aren't always going to agree about how to do things or what the best way to do them is, but we do all want to do good things for the world--or at least that's how I choose to believe things to be.

But sometimes talking doesn't really create solutions.  Sometimes it's important to put actions to words and to hold accountable those who say they're going to do something and then don't do them at all.  Let me see if I can explain better: Gavin Newsom recently talked about how we're all getting money from the government to help with the burdens that COVID imposed on all of us.  He's talked about giving out economic payments to those who are still unemployed or struggling because of circumstances, many of which were there even before the pandemic.  But then he said he'd like to use some of that money to pay off parking tickets.  And here's where I begin to wonder what the point of giving money to politicians is, because, while paying off parking tickets for the past year sounds nice, wouldn't it be nicer to just forgive parking ticket offenses and then offer that money to the cities?  Maybe ask those cities to return payments to those who had to pay for parking offenses in the last year?  But more importantly, how does paying off parking tickets really address the needs of people following this pandemic?  I mean, are aid groups actually meeting demand?  Are we really getting into poorer communities and getting people vaccinated?  What about rent and past due bills?  Have all our schools been able to upgrade their filtration systems and create both in-classroom and online opportunities for kids?  What about people without access to computers and cell phones and online access?  Or even just food and running water?

You see, politicians talk a good game about helping people, but when it comes to putting money where they say their priorities are, somehow things go awry and the funding goes askew.

How about another example?  This past week saw more violence in Israel/Palestine.  We're actually on record to have less violence this year than in years past, but after the year we've had, I think a lot of people are beginning to question the right of any person or government to hurt others.  Even our friends aren't immune to this criticism, and I don't think that's a bad thing.  One of the things many people liked about your predecessor was that he was willing to call a spade a spade (although his views weren't always backed up by facts.)  But that opened us up to criticism, too, which, while he didn't believe it was a good thing, I think it really was.  It reminded me of that Old Testament idea that you shouldn't go looking for the problems in others' lives before first examining your own.  I've often felt that far too often we're too ready to throw stones at one another over perceived (and sometimes actual) wrong-doing, but when it's our friends or allies, we're willing to overlook those flaws.  I think it's important to acknowledge the flaws in our friends and others, but also to treat them with the same brush.  We can't, for instance, praise Israel for fighting back against bombers without also acknowledging that perhaps Israel shouldn't be throwing their weight and might around just to get what they want.  We can't say that Israel is always right and Palestine is always wrong.  The conversation and the dialogue should be more nuanced than that, and if we fail to acknowledge that--if we say on the one hand that we're a country of democracy and freedom, and then on the other hand side with and offer monetary aid to regimes that are acting in ways counter to those beliefs, why should anyone bother to believe us or act in good faith with us?  If you show that you are willing to excuse one thing in your friends, but not willing to do so with others, I imagine many people might call you a hypocrite--and with good reason.

On that front, may I just say that I feel the people of Palestine have a real grievance that needs to be addressed; Israel is choosing to treat them as lesser, showing a lack of respect and dignity to not only their leaders, but also just people trying to get by day after day in a land they once called their own.  There are generations of memories (on both sides now,) that need to be acknowledged and respected so that a dialogue can occur moving forward.  We can't pretend that only certain lives matter; we must acknowledge that all are important--otherwise we run the risk of becoming the monster to someone else.  The atrocities are occurring on both sides of the divide, but if we continue to say that one person's atrocities are fine but the other person's aren't, it's wrong.  And you can't create something good, and real, and lasting if you build it on shadows, and lies, and half-truths.  Peace starts the moment that people feel heard, believed, and seen.  But choosing to only see one side will never create peace.

And maybe there are people who don't want peace in the world.  Maybe there are people who prefer the war and the hatred and the violence.  Maybe, to them, that is the only real thing they know and understand.  Or maybe it's the only way they come out ahead.  I don't know, Mr. President.  What I do know is that I don't want to be a hypocrite and a liar; I don't want to praise people for doing bad things, and I certainly don't want to be aiding them.  The America that I want to believe in doesn't do those things; the America that I believe in values life, and freedom, and creating hope, prosperity, goodness, and happiness in the world for not just America, but others, too.  So if you wonder why our diplomatic efforts are met with skepticism or ridicule, even if most prosperous countries see it as just another part of the game (often ourselves included,) think about how others might view the things we've done.  Maybe it's time to start anew--to create a better dialogue moving forward.

Right now, the world seems to me to be about how the needs and wants of the few outweigh the needs and hopes of the many.  It feels like a sad place to be where even doing your best and abiding by the rules only ensure that you'll never have what you need or want in life.  And that doesn't seem right, somehow.  Continuing like this is creating a world of misery; that shouldn't be what we are aiming to do with our lives.

But enough of that for now.  I was going to talk about the disingenuousness of corporations--especially those in the fossil fuel industry, but that's just more of the same on a different scale.  And I did want to say that it's...refreshing to finally be able to walk around without a mask on.  I know that for some it isn't a welcome release; they've enjoyed the anonymity and the freedom that came with being able to hide their faces.  They appreciated the lack of expectations from others when wearing a mask that not wearing a mask often imposes on them.  But mostly, because I don't often see how others view me, I am just happy to be able to not have to remember "one more thing" when I'm heading out.  I can't tell you the number of times I've nearly forgotten my mask over the past year (or did forget it in one instance at a home away high rise in Seattle; I was so embarrassed when I realized it, but more so when I realized that no one had said anything to me.)  And I can't imagine what it must have been like being poor and suddenly needing yet another thing to buy.  I hope we created places where people could get free masks if they were needed, and if we didn't, maybe we should.  I have enjoyed the little extra fashion it brings to my outdoor activities, though, and I'll admit to my own relief when it became accepted that makeup wasn't always necessary when going out.  I do worry that there are still people who aren't vaccinated, but more and more, even here behind the Orange Curtain, I hear people saying they got the vaccine, even if they thought it was dumb or unnecessary.  Sometimes peer pressure isn't always a bad thing, I guess.

I am excited that we've got so many things going on in space still, but I wonder about the sustainability and pollution that our current methods create.  I've heard, mainly from space enthusiasts and business people that space exploration doesn't create much waste or pollution, but it's hard to take them at their word when their livelihoods are invested in such things.  I know the Netflix series on Space Force might have seemed dumb to many people, but I do think it brought home a lot of concerns about the military and space exploration in general.  It jokingly hinted at the environmental impacts our space programs are having, but I do believe thinking about these things is just as important as exploring the universe.  After all, if there is no Earth to explore from, how can we truly venture beyond it in any real or meaningful way?

As we leave behind our pandemic world, I find myself both afraid and hopeful, Mr. President--afraid that we will go back to doing things as we always have, and hopeful that perhaps, maybe, we won't.  Most of the time, we want to forget the bad things; I expect many people will want to forget that COVID ever happened.  But there are too many lives that have been affected by it for us to just say it's not okay to remember; and, while we do need to move on from this moment, maybe we should be okay with finding new ways to move forward.  I'd like that to define us as a country as we step into the summer of 2021.  Going back to the way things were led us to this point in history; if we do nothing, then the lives that were lost mean nothing.  And they can't mean nothing.  Please don't let them mean nothing, Mr. President.

I hope this coming week will be a good one for you; I hope you and the Democrats can find a way to work with the Republicans, and I really hope that the divides we've created in this country can begin to be torn down and healed so that we can begin down a new path forward in the spirit of hope, and peace, and love.  Mostly, though, I just hope we get more rain here in California; we really need it.

Until next week, then, Mr. President, stay safe and try to stay sane.  I can't imagine running a country is an easy job, and I certainly don't envy you your position.  I am grateful that you believe politics is about service to others, though; I wish more people would believe that, too.


~~ Jenni


REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque


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